Family preparation
We believe that adopted children have the right to know all parts of who they are, including through ongoing relationships with their biological families, and that they deserve to be parented in families who understand their unique needs. Our process helps families prepare to live in open adoption relationships and supports them in better understanding the complexities of adoption, including its inherent grief and loss. We incorporate education about adoption that is informed by the perspectives of adult adoptees, and we acknowledge to prospective adoptive parents that choosing adoption means committing to a lifetime of learning and reflection. See the steps to become a prospective adoptive parent here.
For all prospective adoptive families in our pool
- They begin by attending our intensive seminar, where they learn about openness in adoption, hear from members of the adoption constellation, gain a basic understanding of the adoption process, and are introduced to topics such as transracial adoption, attachment in adoption, and the legal logistics of adoption. Those families who choose to move forward are then interviewed and assessed in an intake meeting before entering the homestudy process to ensure that their understanding of adoption and openness aligns with our program values (read more about our values here).
- We screen our waiting families according to state regulations as part of the homestudy process. This includes state and federal background checks.
- Assessment continues during the homestudy process. In addition to providing a legal homestudy for the purposes of adoption, we write our homestudies to be shared with expectant parents when they are considering choosing a family. The homestudy seen by expectant parents includes detailed information about a family’s home and neighborhood; family lifestyle; values and religion; parenting attitudes and philosophy; preparation for adoption; autobiographical information about each prospective parent, including their childhood, relationships, milestones, and challenges; and, if the family is a couple, their relationship history, strengths, and challenges.
- We provide pre-adoption counseling and support to prospective adoptive parents to prepare them for this potential new relationship. We also encourage people to engage in their own counseling, including couples therapy, as needed, and provide referrals to adoption-competent providers.
- We provide ongoing opportunities for learning and community building for prospective adoptive parents in our waiting families pool.
- All OA&FS prospective adoptive parents share a strong commitment to openness in adoption and a desire to create an authentic relationship with birth parents.
What’s in a waiting family profile?
Family letter
Each family writes a brief letter to introduce themselves and help expectant parents learn about their family and their unique qualities.
Family book
This autobiographical book created by the family provides a more detailed glimpse into their background, daily lives, traditions, and hopes for adoption – with lots of photos!
Family video
Each family has the option to create a video to share why they want an open adoption, as well as the things they appreciate about each other or that their friends and family appreciate about them.
Homestudy
This detailed report, available upon request, includes highly detailed information about the family’s home and neighborhood; lifestyle; careers; relationships with each other and family/friends; parenting philosophies; values; reason for choosing adoption; and more. This report is written by an OA&FS counselor after a prospective adoptive family has completed the homestudy and family preparation process.
Questions to consider when choosing an adoptive family
Questions to consider when choosing an adoptive family
When someone is in the process of choosing an adoptive family for their child, we encourage them to consider their own values, communication style and vision for the open adoption relationship – in addition to learning about prospective adoptive parents’ jobs, interests and lifestyle. The downloadable form below contains questions that can help someone discover what is important in considering a family.
Frequently asked questions
- Can I choose any family from your pool?
Each of the prospective adoptive families in our waiting families pool has done considerable reflection on their capacity for parenting, considering what a future child may need. Not all prospective adoptive families feel prepared for every situation, and an OA&FS counselor will work with an expectant parent or parent to determine which families may feel prepared for their specific situation. An expectant parent may also have specific hopes for their future child’s adoptive family, which may also narrow down the families from which they are choosing.
- Can I plan an adoption with a family I found on my own?
Yes, and we can support your adoption plan. Any adoptive family needs to have an approved homestudy.
- How is an adoptive family chosen?
Adoptive families are chosen by expectant parents, who consider families that are open to their specific situation. When choosing an adoptive family, expectant parents consider what is important to them as they review prospective adoptive family profiles. These profiles include an introductory letter, photo book with autobiographical information, video, and homestudy.
- What preparation do prospective adoptive parents receive?
Each step of our preparation process for prospective adoptive parents includes in-depth learning, ongoing assessment, and continuous self-reflection – with the goal of preparing families to best support the ongoing needs of adopted children. This starts with our two-day Pre-Adoption Seminar. The next step is an Application & Intake meeting to assess whether we are mutually a good fit. If approved to proceed, families complete the homestudy process, which includes more required learning and a series of interviews with their OA&FS counselor. Once they have an approved homestudy report, they are able to enter our waiting families pool. From here, we provide continued opportunities for pre-adoption learning that build on prospective adoptive parents’ commitment to openness in adoption and their understanding of the complexities in adoption. Read more about these preparation steps here.
- Will the adoptive family stay in touch with me?
Families who adopt through OA&FS have affirmed their commitment to openness in adoption and have engaged in a thorough learning and reflection process with our agency about why they value an ongoing connection to their child’s birth family. In Oregon and Washington and many other states a legally enforceable open adoption contact agreement can be created as part of an adoption plan. This agreement outlines a minimum level of contact everyone agrees to until the child turns 18. Ongoing contact is discussed during the adoption planning process, and all parties share their vision and hopes for their open adoption relationship. OA&FS provides ongoing support to everyone involved post-placement, including if challenges arise around contact/communication between birth family and the adoptive family.