Considering adoption for your child
Contact a counselor
Call, text or fill out our expectant parent contact form. Counselors are available seven days a week between 7am and 9pm PT. If after 9pm, a counselor will reach out the next day.
We provide a compassionate, nonjudgmental space for pregnant and parenting people to talk about their thoughts and feelings. We treat each person with dignity and respect as they explore their options.
Our all-options counseling services are available to people throughout the U.S. We have offices in Portland, Eugene, and Seattle and can travel to meet with people throughout Washington and Oregon. We’re also available to meet via Zoom.
Steps to plan an adoption
- Options counseling
- Together, we’ll explore all your options. We will provide you with information and support as we talk about each option. Only you can decide which choice is right for you. If your choice is abortion or parenting, we’ll connect you with the resources you’ll need. If your choice is adoption, we will help you create an adoption plan.
- Choosing a family
- If you choose adoption, you’ll review the profiles of prospective adoptive parents in our waiting families pool. (Read about the family preparation process here.) Each family has prepared a letter, photo book, and video describing who they are and why they are hoping to plan an open adoption. Get to know our waiting families. You can request an official homestudy report to learn even more about each of the families you are interested in. This report includes detailed information about their home and neighborhood, careers, relationship with each other and family/friends, parenting philosophies and values.
- Introduction meeting
- When you have chosen a family you’d like to meet, an OA&FS counselor will be present to support all of you as you meet for the first time. This is a casual get-together and an opportunity to explore whether it feels like a good fit. Sometimes, expectant parents and adoptive parents will spend time together right after this meeting to continue to get to know one another. After this meeting, we’ll check in with each of you to see how things feel.
- Adoption planning
- If you and the prospective adoptive parents decide to move forward after your first meeting, you’ll continue to get to know each other. Then, you will all meet with a counselor again to talk about specifics such as your hospital time, naming and decisions like circumcision. Together, you’ll create an Open Adoption Agreement, which is a legally enforceable document that outlines ongoing contact, such as how often visits will take place or updates will be shared. You’ll decide what you want including: Will the adoptive family be with you during the birth? Will the baby stay in your room during your time at the hospital? Will you breastfeed? You are in control of every step of your process, and we will support and guide you along the way. Learn more about the adoption process.
- Consent, placement
- A counselor will be at the hospital to support you after your child is born. We’ll review your options again. Parents sometimes feel differently about their decision once their baby is born, and we will support you if you decide to parent your child. If adoption still feels like the right path for you, you’ll sign legal consent documents when you feel ready. Once you sign your consents, your child can legally be placed with the adoptive parents you have chosen. You may decide to spend time caring for your child all together at the hospital, if that is what feels right to you. Not all placements happen at the hospital, and you decide when and where this step will take place. In some cases, a placement may occur days, weeks, months, or even years after a child is born.
- Honor the moment
- At the placement, some adoptive parents and birth parents plan a special moment in the process that signifies the entrustment of the child to the adoptive family. This can be as simple as saying a few words or can be a more formal entrustment ceremony. You might light a candle, read a poem, say a prayer, play music, have a group photo taken … whatever is meaningful to all of you. This recognition of a bond created around the child creates a lasting reminder of how this special, lifelong relationship began.
- Ongoing relationship
- After placement, adoptive and biological family members continue to love and support their child. They may gather for dinners, holidays, or other events. People get together in person, have video calls, send text messages, share gifts and photos or any combination of these. Each open adoption relationship is unique and is based on the needs of the people involved. These relationships change over time, just like any other relationship. Read more about open adoption.
- Post-placement support
- Ongoing support from an OA&FS counselor is always available no matter if it’s months or years into your adoption. You’re also welcome and encouraged to join in our open adoption community events, including the summer picnic and the winter party, our annual birth parent meetups, monthly virtual gatherings and private Facebook group. You’re now a member of our open adoption community! Learn more about ongoing support and community.
Birth parent testimonials
Frequently asked questions
- Can I choose any family from your pool?
Each of the prospective adoptive families in our waiting families pool has done considerable reflection on their capacity for parenting, considering what a future child may need. Not all prospective adoptive families feel prepared for every situation, and an OA&FS counselor will work with an expectant parent or parent to determine which families may feel prepared for their specific situation. An expectant parent may also have specific hopes for their future child’s adoptive family, which may also narrow down the families from which they are choosing.
- Can I have a closed adoption?
Birth parents can request that their identity not be shared with adoptive parents in their adoption process, and their choice will be honored. We encourage people to share as much information about themselves as they feel comfortable in cases where they do not want direct contact, so that their child can still know about their birth family as they grow up. Truly closed adoptions are difficult to maintain today because of the many ways people find one another, including social media, DNA tests, and adoptees having the right to access parts of their adoption file (laws vary by state). This means that ongoing confidentiality cannot be guaranteed. A birth parent’s desire to know information about or to have a direct relationship with their child and the adoptive family may shift over time, which is also something that OA&FS would help support.
- Can both parents be involved in the process?
Yes, we welcome the cooperation and participation of the non-pregnant parent. Ideally, both parents help choose the adoptive family, meet them, and develop ongoing relationships. Each birth parent can create a separate Open Adoption Agreement with the adoptive family. Adoptees benefit from knowing all parts of who they are.
- What preparation do prospective adoptive parents receive?
Each step of our preparation process for prospective adoptive parents includes in-depth learning, ongoing assessment, and continuous self-reflection – with the goal of preparing families to best support the ongoing needs of adopted children. This starts with our two-day Pre-Adoption Seminar. The next step is an Application & Intake meeting to assess whether we are mutually a good fit. If approved to proceed, families complete the homestudy process, which includes more required learning and a series of interviews with their OA&FS counselor. Once they have an approved homestudy report, they are able to enter our waiting families pool. From here, we provide continued opportunities for pre-adoption learning that build on prospective adoptive parents’ commitment to openness in adoption and their understanding of the complexities in adoption. Read more about these preparation steps here.
- Who names the baby in an open adoption?
In an open adoption, birth and adoptive parents often collaboratively name their child. There are two birth certificates in adoption, an original birth certificate that is completed by the birth parents when a child is born and a second, amended, birth certificate that is completed by the adoptive parents when the adoption is finalized. In some cases, these names are different and in others they are the same. When biological and adoptive families are thinking about naming a child, they are encouraged to think about how the child may someday feel about the story of their name. Many adult adoptees have expressed feeling confused or hurt in learning that their name was changed.
Learn more
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