The adoption process
When expectant parents choose to plan an adoption, we connect them with the family they have chosen so they can begin building the foundation for an adoptee-centered open adoption relationship. We help people cultivate a vision for their adoption plan and facilitate relationship-building conversations. We continue to provide emotional support throughout the process, as well as guide the legal and logistical aspects of the adoption plan.
Every adoption planning process is unique
Not all adoption plans include the same steps in the same order. Common components in adoption planning can include:
- It’s generally considered best practice for expectant parents to delay formally choosing a family until they are in the later stages of their pregnancy, so they have adequate time to fully explore their options and feelings about the pregnancy. For example, at OA&FS, expectant parents don’t typically choose and meet a family until they are in their third trimester.
- Expectant parents and prospective adoptive parents are supported by an OA&FS counselor as they get to know one another and build the foundation of their relationship. They will also talk about their specific desires, including naming of the child, ongoing relationship, circumcision (if relevant), and hospital time. Adoption planning can stop at any time if any party decides the relationship no longer feels like the right fit, or if they choose a different path (such as an expectant parent deciding to parent their child).
- Some people find themselves making the decision to plan an adoption after the baby is born. It is imperative that people considering adoption in these circumstances still have access to the same high-quality, unbiased options counseling as they explore parenting and adoption. We want to ensure they have time, space, and support to make a truly informed decision in what may feel like a crisis. If they do choose to plan an adoption, the same components would be involved but may take place on a shortened timeline.
- All parties collaborate with an OA&FS counselor to create a legally enforceable open adoption agreement outlining ongoing visits and contact.
- Legal paperwork is prepared and reviewed with expectant and adoptive parents. When they feel ready, expectant parents will sign legal paperwork indicating their consent to the adoption and acknowledging that their legal rights to the child will be terminated. Laws regarding adoption are different in every state and each process is tailored to meet the legal requirements of the situation.
- Legal placement of a child in an adoption occurs after legal paperwork is complete. Placement could take place at a hospital, but does not always.
- At the time of placement, some people choose to honor the moment the child is transitioning from one family to another with an entrustment ceremony, which honors and reflects the birth parents’ entrustment of their child to the adoptive parents. This could be a few simple words, the exchange of cards or letters, a small gift, or giving a child their first bath together. This shared time is symbolic of the trust, respect, and value for everyone coming together to support this child. It signifies their mutual commitment to their ongoing relationship, holding the child at the center.
- After placement, birth parents and adoptive parents have access to counseling, support, and guidance from OA&FS.
Frequently asked questions
- Can I choose any family from your pool?
Each of the prospective adoptive families in our waiting families pool has done considerable reflection on their capacity for parenting, considering what a future child may need. Not all prospective adoptive families feel prepared for every situation, and an OA&FS counselor will work with an expectant parent or parent to determine which families may feel prepared for their specific situation. An expectant parent may also have specific hopes for their future child’s adoptive family, which may also narrow down the families from which they are choosing.
- Can I plan an adoption with a family I found on my own?
Yes, and we can support your adoption plan. Any adoptive family needs to have an approved homestudy.
- Do adoptive parents come to the hospital when the baby is born?
Sometimes. Hospital time is determined by the expectant parent(s), who decide what level of involvement, if any, they want the prospective adoptive parents to have while at the hospital.
- Does the father of my child need to consent to the adoption?
The legal rights of birth fathers vary from state to state, so the laws regarding consent will depend on where you and the prospective adoptive parents you choose live. A counselor can help you understand the legal aspects of your adoption, and you can consult with an independent attorney during the adoption planning process at no charge to you. At OA&FS, we believe that both parents should be involved in making the choice of adoption for their child when possible. Adoptees deserve to have access to information about and connections with both of their biological parents. We recognize that this is not always possible, and we are glad to talk more about your specific situation.
- Will the adoptive family stay in touch with me?
Families who adopt through OA&FS have affirmed their commitment to openness in adoption and have engaged in a thorough learning and reflection process with our agency about why they value an ongoing connection to their child’s birth family. In Oregon and Washington and many other states a legally enforceable open adoption contact agreement can be created as part of an adoption plan. This agreement outlines a minimum level of contact everyone agrees to until the child turns 18. Ongoing contact is discussed during the adoption planning process, and all parties share their vision and hopes for their open adoption relationship. OA&FS provides ongoing support to everyone involved post-placement, including if challenges arise around contact/communication between birth family and the adoptive family.